we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
