stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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