okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
