I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
