why didn't you poke me back
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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