I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
