Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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