This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
