This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
