Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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