How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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