Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
