Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
