If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Randomize
