Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
