Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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