dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
