If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
