My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
