So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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