His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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