check it out our google latitudes are spooning
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
