It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Randomize
