Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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