Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
