Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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