I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Everyone says I win the strip club
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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