I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
