I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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