Who did Billy Mays play for?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
