Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
