we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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