I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
