Don't make out with my wife yet
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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