do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
