That's intense
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
