halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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