Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
