do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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