I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
