Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
