Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
