he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
