Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
