careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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