I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Your cock deserves a montage
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
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