First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
