Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
