he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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