Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
