Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
