Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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